dogmy grandma died a week ago today. please pray for her. <3 thank you.
here is a journal entry i typed up from tuesday, march 14th.
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| the funeralyesterday was the funeral. it was a nice small one. i did one of the readings (a first reading, one from the Book of Wisdom) and my cousins did the other 2. annie did the 2nd reading, and jordan did the prayer of intercessions. my uncle jack did the opening after the priest. my eyes watered a bit every now and then throughout the funeral mass, but i didn't really start at it until the very end, when the priest began to bless my grandma, who was in the casket with a cloth on top, with frankenscense (sp?) and stuff...i began REALLY crying, like, sobbing and stuff. i tried to hold it in, but it was sooo hard. i was a mess. i covered my eyes, then my face and just cried. my mom held me close and i hugged her and kept crying. she started to cry too. my brother then hugged my mom and me. i think he cried, too. when i calmed down a bit, i looked around and saw that we were the only 3 people left in the pews. the casket was in the back of the church, along with the priest and those who attended the funeral. when we all got to the back, i was still upset and crying a little, but not as bad as before. marty went by a window and just stood by it for a long moment. he was crying. i am almost certain. and you know what? when i saw him turn around, i caught a glimpse of his expression and it took me back to when he was a lot younger. it was so different. and familiar at the same time. i didn't go to school today. i was really upset. still sort of am now. i might go to musical practice today though, if it is the one from 6 to 9pm. otherwise, no i'm not going anywhere. oooh, i am so chilled right now. i'm gonna put on a jacket after i post this thing.
my puppy was hit by a car last night. he's alright, he's still alive. his left hind leg joint is broken, though. and he has a flesh wound on that leg, too. he also had to get stitches in his mouth, and under his tongue. he has some bruises by his butt and eye. my poor baby. i feel so terrible. thank GOD he is going to be okay, nothing fatal. when i let him outside to go pee and poo, the leash had broke clear off from his collar. he was probably chasing a bunny or something like that, and it broke him free and well, my dad said he saw a car turning around and such, and by the way he was limping when we found him outside the vet said that it was most likely he was hit in the rear by a car. my poor baby pushkin. i feel terrible about this. i didn't need for this to happen the night i get back from my grandma's funeral. i started sobbing up in my room after i got back from bringing him to the vet. i had this sort of panic attack, and i started breathing heavy (similar to the way one gets out of breath) and stuff, i was so stressed and upset. so much stuff. i can't take anything more to happen. i don't want my puppy to go through any more pain. i don't want people to have any more pain. i don't want any more pain.
:::EDIT::: at 11:36pm |
i wrote this at about 9:33 p.m.
i feel....well.......................lonely.
that's just how i feel right now. all day, really. eck. which makes me sad. this is how i feel today, mindsay, this is how i feel.
alone. lonely. no one to make me feel unlonely. i wish this was untrue. maybe it could be. but as of now, no, it could not be. it is true. 
*deep breath and a sigh*
i have a cold. i've been home sick for 2 days. i was supposed to go out with some friends tonight, but i'm sick. and so i can't. i can't do anything about it. yuck.
i wish someone could just hang around with me at home right now. despite the fact that i'm sick. they'd just talk to me or something. that'd be cool.
ughh...nobody calls me anymore. i almost feel like i did that one time i was on that medicine to make me feel better. not fun.
dunno what else to say.
bye.
~kel
a new post! there's nothing to say, however. so.....i am sorry. OH! wait, okay: Happy New Year! Woot for 2006! It's finally here!
okay. there ya go!
i love you all. hope everyone's doing okay. i'll talk to yas later.
<3 kellie
hey people. okay, so i barely know anyone on here. it's weird. why do i bother posting? i haven't the faintest idea. i just look at other people's blogs and maybe give a little "hello" and see if they respond and whatnot. dude, my 1 friend that i know who has a mindsay account hasn't even posted 1 thing, and i miss him, and i can't really keep up with what's going on in his life, so i'm all like, "c'mon! post something. i wanna keep in touch" b/c i don't AIM or whatever chat thingie there is. i don't do online chatting at all, and i know there's another way. there HAS GOT to BE another WAY!!!! ahah. and there is. there are many different ways. cooperation is the key. and love, of course. but anywho...since i am posting this thing for anyone to see, i am going to say HELLO! to everyone who comes across it. reply to me, say hey wassup sis?! or give me <3. whatever. okay? thanks!
on a more heartfelt topic: my grandma is in the hospital. she went in last night i believe. could you PLEASE please please please please keep her in your prayers? it'd mean the world to me. i love her so much. i don't want anything bad to happen to her. i love her, i do. my mom's at the hospital visiting her right now. i am at home working on my stupid short story and play. s: oh well. but please, if you could, keep her in your prayers. thank you so very very VERY much. <3 <3
this is all for now. i hope everyone had a great Christmas. (;
take care.
love love,
kellie
